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| © Ford You thought vehicles like the Ford Flex, Chevy Sonic, and Dodge Journey were gone, but you can still buy these and other zombies fresh from the factory. |
By John Pearley Huffman, Car and Driver
I got into an argument with a friend a few weeks ago about whether or not Ford still made the Flex. I won. They do.
Rather, they did.
Last week, Ford announced that sometime at the end of this month, the
last Flex will leave the Oakville, Ontario, assembly plant. Some of you
will swear you’re going to miss it, but my bet is that more people, like
my friend, didn’t even realize it was still in production. That’s
because the Ford Flex was a zombie.
There are plenty of automotive zombies, those vehicles that are still
made but that no one really cares about anymore. It’s hard to believe
anyone goes out looking to buy one, and they likely end up shoved into
the back of dealer lots. Only occasionally, one of the sales staff will
remember that they’re in stock and sell one cheap enough that some bank
will write a sub-prime loan to get it off the lot. They are cars,
trucks, and SUVs that have passed out of the zeitgeist. They’re dead,
but their manufacturers haven’t bothered to stop making them.
Let’s start with the Dodge Journey. It’s C/D’s
least favorite crossover, with anonymous styling, a standard 173-hp
2.4-liter four, front-wheel drive, and one of the few four-speed
automatic transmissions still offered in any new vehicle. It’s been in
production since 2008, hasn’t changed much since then, and Dodge sold
94,096 of them in 2018. And yet, none of us has ever met anyone who
bought one.
No one thinks about the Dodge Journey. No one cares
about the Dodge Journey. And yet it’s still around, looking for fresh
brains to eat. My guess is that most of the Journeys wind up at Hertz or
Avis in Florida where they’re rented out to families needing nothing
more than seatbelts for bouncing between Disney World, Universal
Orlando, and that place in Fort Myers where you can get alligator-meat
burgers. (Tastes like crocodile.)
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| © Chevrolet Drive of the Living Dead |
Or what about the Chevrolet Sonic and Spark?
Chevy only sold 20,613 and 23,602, respectively, last year. We assume a
similar fate for many of them as for the Journey, although they do seem
somewhat more likely to have been bought by actual human beings. In its
favor, the Spark is the base vehicle for the Domino’s DXP pizza
delivery vehicle. And that’s kind of living-dead adorable.
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| © Alfa Romeo Drive of the Living Dead |
But it’s not just bottom feeders that fall into obscurity. Has anyone given even a passing thought to the Alfa Romeo 4C Spider lately?
It’s a blast to drive, but no one buys it. In 2018, Alfa sold just 238
in the United States. Looking at current sales, Alfa will be lucky to
crack the 200 barrier this year. Holding the 4C back may be that most
Americans have thighs too big to fit under the steering wheel, and that
the carbon-fiber tub is upholstered like an Italian sarcophagus.
Kia Cadenza.
Yes, there was a 2019 model year for this not-bad sedan. Buried under
the popularity of its newer brother the Stinger and somehow difficult to
distinguish from the less-lavish Optima, only 4507 were sold in 2018,
and this year it won’t sell half that many. Even Kia dealers would be
surprised to know that they sell the Cadenza. A redesign for 2020 may
resurrect the Cadenza corpse. Or not.
The Mitsubishi Mirage G4,
Lexus GS, Lincoln MKZ, and BMW i3 are similarly out of the buying
public’s collective consciousness. But zombie status need not be a
permanent condition.
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| © Toyota Drive of the Living Dead |
Toyota’s 4Runner
has been around since 1984. And it was a solid seller for most of the
last 35 years. But in the Great Recession, demand for the 4Runner
shriveled up and disappeared. Toyota only sold 19,675 4Runners in 2009.
For Toyota, 19,675 units of practically any other product is a rounding
error. But with the introduction of the fifth-generation 4Runner (N280
in Toyota code) for 2010, sales started a miraculous turnaround. In
2010, the big T sold 46,531. Then another 44,316 in 2011. Around 2012,
buyers looking for true off-road ability began noticing how the rugged
4Runner stood out in a sea of car-like crossovers, and sales rose to
48,753. By 2014 sales were at 76,906, and in 2016 the 4Runner shattered
the 100,000 barrier. In 2018, Toyota sold an astonishing 139,694—a
record for the model.
The 4Runner was no longer buried with the
damned. It was in the forefront of the common cerebellum once more:
relevant, wanted, and attractive. It had been reanimated in a way even
Mary Shelley couldn’t have imagined. The 4Runner is the zombie that
arose from the grave to find itself once more among the living. So maybe
death isn’t a permanent condition. At least, not if you’re a
truck-based SUV.
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| © Car and Driver Drive of the Living Dead |
